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8. Pomelot ja Kremli toitumise laud

Photo CreditKim Murton Many parents feel that their adolescents hardly need them anymore. Teenagers often come and go on their own schedules, sometimes rebuff our friendly questions about their days, and can give the impression that interacting with the family is an imposition that comes at the cost of connecting, digitally or otherwise, with friends.

I spend part of my time as a consultant to schools, where I see teenagers as they go about their regular days.

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On several occasions over the years students have explained to me that their parents are rarely home. Regardless of the jack towers kaalulangus circumstances, the teenagers who say they are longing for more time with their folks invariably seem self-sufficient and independent.

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Researchers from the University of Western Australia studied 3, middle- and high school students, including adolescents with one parent who lived away from home for long stretches because of work, like a job on an offshore oil rig or a distant construction site. Overall, most adolescents felt their parents were present in their lives regardless of their work hours.

However, a slightly higher percentage of teenagers who experienced the long work absence of a parent had emotional or behavioral problems compared with those whose parents worked more traditional hours.

This echoes research finding high rates of emotional distress in teenagers who routinely returned to an empty house after school or whose parents were rarely at dinner. A classic study connected the total time at least one parent was home before and after school, at dinner and at bedtime to improved psychological health in adolescents.

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Importantly, the studies of parental presence indicate that sheer proximity confers a benefit over and above feelings of closeness or connectedness between parent and child. With younger children, we have plenty of opportunities to put our parenting muscles to work.

We can read stories together, make up knock-knock jokes, build towers, or go to the museum. Our youngsters still like to join us for a trip to a grocery store and they usually come to us first with their questions or problems. Happily, the quality parenting of a teenager may sometimes take poletage rasva sisemine jalad form of blending into the background like a potted plant.

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Many parents of adolescents instinctively know this to be true and find ways to be present without advancing an agenda. One friend of mine quietly folds laundry each evening in the den where her teenagers watch TV. Of course, sharing the same space sets the stage for the possibility of actively interacting, and we have plenty of research attesting to the benefit of talking with or advising our teenagers.

Ideally, children use their parents as a safe and dependable base from which to explore the world and exert their autonomy. While normally developing teenagers seek new levels of emotional and physical distance from their parents perhaps they, like toddlers, feel most at ease when their folks balance active engagement with detached availability.

The giving season is at hand and the holidays hold the promise of families having more time to jack towers kaalulangus together.

In the swirl that can come at this time of year, we might offer our teenagers a gift we know they can use: Our quiet and steady presence.